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Thursday 17th September: Maisie Trollette’s Drag Roast
Full steam ahead for the RVT, WOOHOO! This week there’s a roast at the iconic gay venue, of none other than drag stalwart Maisie Trollette. The event is produced by a magazine called QX. Apparently they’re a London-based gay scene publication. That’s what we’ve heard. Anyway, it’s for a worthy cause, with 100% of ticket sales going to the Terrence Higgins Trust. Roasters include Miss Jason, Dave Lynn and La Voix.
Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY, 7:30pm – 11:55pm, show 8:30pm. £10 entry.
Friday 18th September: Disco Vacuum
Empty your dust bags and set your suction power to FULL. It’s Disco Vacuum at VFD! We’ve heard Henry Hoover is hosting, with DJ Dyson on the decks. All lies, of course they don’t have a vacuum cleaner DJing, that would be ridiculous. Or would it?! Are we lying? Is it all true? You never know, it is East London after all. You’ll just have to go and find out won’t you. You could wear a dust ruffle as a dress.
VFD, 66 Stoke Newington Road, N16 7XB. 10pm – 3am. £3 entry.
Friday 18th September: Shake Yer Dix
Not only is it SHAKE YER DIX at Dalston Superstore, which is the second best club night in the universe (we’ve heard Princess Amidala runs a trap night on Naboo that’s better), but it’s also a Peaches-themed Shake Yer Dix! Peaches is famous for such hits as Fuck The Pain Away and Back It Up, which is all about fucking a straight man with a strap on. That’s how we read it anyway, it might just be about reversing a car. Who knows. Anyway it’s gonna be wall-to-wall Peaches hits, with pop tartlet Ronika DJing, who we love, she’s like Madonna but half the age and without the dodgy accent.
Dalston Superstore, 117 Kingsland High Street, E8 2PB. 10pm – 3am. Free entry before 11pm, £5 after.
Saturday 19th September: XXL 15th Birthday
Iconic London gay clubbing leviathans XXL are celebrating their 15th birthday. We might shuffle in wearing heels, all trembly, holding a cake and singing Happy Birthday in a quavery voice. It’s going to be EVERYTHING. In the morning the Thames will probably just be a river of glitter, with the occasional contented bear floating by on a raft of beer crates. Be prepared, this is gonna be a BIG ‘UN. Especially with that Wayne G DJing. He’s a one.
Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, Blackfriars Bridge, SE1 9UF. 10pm – 7am. Tickets £15, £8 for members.
Saturday 19th September: Brüt #10
The burly Brüt boys are back this weekend with a hefty Timbaland steel-capped boot kick of fun. You can join the furry action at The Steel Yard, where there’s loads of bangin’ DJs, including Tom Stephan, Kam Shafaati (making his Brüt debut), Louis Lennon and Massimo Paramour. And that’s just the main vault. We can bearly contain our excitement!
The Steel Yard, Unit 13 Allhallows Lane, EC4R 3UL. 10 – 6am, Early Bird Tickets from £10, members £8 & Guests £10, £15 OTD.
Saturday 19th September: Blocheads
Those City Road party impresarios have got a lineup this Saturday that’s fit to knock your fuckin’ block off, mate! Get Up Recordings are over from New York to launch the amorous Christy Love‘s new release ‘Internal Waves’. She’ll be joined by track collaborators Severino and Hifi Sean in the main room while in the Bar Ex Lovers and Meat’s Fannar turn out current and classic pop. We recommend bringing your crash helmet. Or stocking up on aspirin for the morning after.
East Bloc, 217 City Road, EC1V 2JN, 10:00pm-6am. £8 before midnight, £10 after.
Saturday 19th September: FIRE12
Oh god it’s ANOTHER birthday. We’ll have to order extra poppers. Party poppers obvs, what did you think we meant? It’s iconic superclub Fire’s 12th birthday, with Orange hosting the main room and Gravity hosting the lounge. We can already taste the vodka Red Bull. The finer details are TOP SECRET, but it’s gonna be *Victoria Beckham voice* MAJOR. MAJOR, DAVID. Major.
Fire Nightclub, South Lambeth Road, SW8 1RT. 11pm – 6am. £11.
Saturday 19th September: Queerest of the Queer
Queerest of the Queer is the writhing, glitter-smeared brainchild of The Meth Lab, Wotever World, LGBT Underground, BoiBox and The Queer Embassy. The aim is to bring the community a non-corporate sponsored, alternative, imaginative event. Latrice Royale is headlining, with a range of shocking, salacious, gender-bending, genre-bending performances from the likes of the beguiling Ruby Wednesday, hilarious Lydia L’Scabies, holy mother Virgin Xtravaganzah and MORE.
The Coronet, 28 New Kent Road, SE1 6TJ. 5pm – 5am. Tickets £35.