Friday 11th December: Desi Boyz Fantasy Ball
It’s the most glimmering, glamourous, eclectic bash this side of the equator! Desi Boyz is a night of Bhangra, Bashment and Bollywood tunes, and their annual Winter ball will be no exception! A sprinkle of spice to warm up your winter. It’s gonna be super classy and super sexy, so dig out your best Bollywood partying gear and channel Holly Valance in the video for Kiss Kiss (yes we KNOW that’s not Bollywood, but still it’s a camp tune). So yeah! Dance the night away like a lassi lassy!
229 Great Portland Street, W1W 5PN. 11pm – 4am.
Friday 11th December: Reactivate
Ready, set…REACTIVATE! *Raises gun, somersaults over car bonnet, tosses hair like Megan Fox in Transformers* Pew pew pew! Yes, Reactivate is out! Never heard of it? It’s the dance album of the CENTURY. 2 CD’s by superstar DJ Rachel Auburn. In celebration they’re having a rip-roaring, strobe-studded Christmas party at Club 65 in Vauxhall. A host of DJs are hitting the decks, including TheMenWhoFell2Earth, Daz Saund, Trevor Rockcliffe and more.
Club 65, Royal Albert Embankment, Vauxhall SE1 7TP. 10pm – 5am. Tickets available at moreonthedoor.com
Friday 11th December: LAZERTITZ
Man the lazer cannons and gird your titz! It’s LAZERTITZ at Dalston Superstore! Imagine if Princess Amidala and Leeloo from the Fifth Element started a club night in Dalston, and you’ve got a good idea of what’s going on here. Set your lazers to STUNNING and serve spacey looks with battleship beats! Captain Janeway will be downing Baileys at the bar, with a DJ set by that little giggly creature from the Cantina in Star Wars. KIDDING. But there WILL be DJ sets (amazin’ ones) from Jennifer Cardini and residents Bica and Hannah Holland.
Dalston Superstore, 117 Kingsland High Street, E8 2PB. 9pm – 3am. £6 entry.
Saturday 12th December: XXL
Why is XXL called XXL? Because it’s EXTRA hot. EXTRA gay. And EXTRA fun. Vaulting vaults of vociferous gay men, all having a right old shindig! From bears to boys, all are welcome to dance the night away to some camp old Kylie remixes. And that’s what life’s all about, right?! With DJing from the inimitable Hoxton Whores.
Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF. 10pm – 6am. £15 entry, £8 for members.
Saturday 12th December: MEAT
A chargrilled mixed grill of well-hung, medum-rare fun! Yup, we’re making charcuterie-related puns again and that must mean it’s that time of the month again…MEAT at the RVT! Those bacon busting boys always put on a good show. It’s in celebration of the release of the 19th(!) issue of MEAT Mag. It’s a cult zine printed on lovely matte paper, with pictures of hairy butts and stuff. YEAAAH! Oh also, our resident hun Dom Top will be doing hits, bits, and shits with the Sex Shells! Actually not shits. ALL THE HITS. NO SHIT.
Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY. 10pm – 4am. £5 entry.
Saturday 12th December: Night Sheen
Oooh! Mysteeeerious! As the moon peeks from behind a cloud above Old Street Station and Ursula Snakes storms out of the Sainsburys on the corner wielding an egg & cress sandwich and a ready-mixed can of gin and tonic, East London’s dark and dastardly revelers gather at East Bloc for Night Sheen! The city’s most shimmeringly viscous club night. It’s like dark molasses sliding off a spoon. It’s like Idris Elba whispering. It’s like Naomi Campbell riding over the Millenium Bridge on a panther. Sparklingly dark, deeply sexy. With special guest DJ GIDEON, known for playing Glastonbury’s infamous Block9.
East Bloc, 217 City Road, EC1V 1JN. 11pm – 6am. £5 before midnight, £10 after.
Sunday 20th December: Beyond Christmas Special
Head to the Beyond this Christmas *Buzz Lightyear voice* to infinity…AND BEYOND! We’ve received word from The Beyond actually. A celestial, disembodied voice. Actually, it was an email. But still. They said it was amazing. And we BELIEVE them. We believe in The Beyond! In fact, we know it’s amazing because we’ve been. For their Christmas Special they’ve pulled out all the festive stops (“festive stops”? We’re not sure either. Anyway, moving on…) They’ve got superstar DJ’s uplifting house and tantalizing techno.
Ministry of Sound, 103 Gaunt Street, SE1 6DP. 5am onwards. £12.10 general admission.
Sunday 27th December: Full Fetish
Here’s one for all you festive fetishists and spoilt pigs! And we mean that with love. We love you all! You pigs! Oink, oink! It’s the city’s most infamous gay fetish night. In the sexy vaulting arches of Fire in Vauxhall, it’s a playground for the city’s creatures of the underworld, decked in their finest leather chaps, studded harnesses and all other manner of sexy gear. Get down there!
Fire, 39 Parry Street, SW8 1SP. 10pm – 6am. Standard tickets £20.