With a proliferation of gay dating and hook-up apps/websites out there, sometimes it seems hard to know where to start in your search for Mr Right (Now).
As Valentine’s Day approaches, QX gives you a rundown on what’s best – or most specific – to you…
WHERE TO FIND YOUR MAN
The Loving Men team has travelled far and wide to learn about dating and relationships for gay and bi men. They provide personal development events and resources for gay and bi men to meet each other on a deeper level and experience a strong sense of community. Their next event will be ‘10 Steps to Finding Love’ at St Anne’s Soho (55 Dean Street, W1D 6AF) on Saturday 15th February, from 5.30pm-9pm. £15 earlybird if booked by 30th January, £20 thereafter.
XXL app
The app for those guys that like their blokes burly. Although, you’ll never be judged by your body here – just your body hair. Perfect for Bears that frequent the Saturday night club, and the boys that like hirsute homosexual.
Aimed towards cheeky chavs and scally scamps, like all other sites they’re not all “fit lads”, but bless some of them for trying. Primarily favoured by Northern lads but you can still get a good shag down south.
Originally beginning as a website, the brand has now launched their ‘mobile service’. Their new ‘Find Him’ feature is aimed at finding The One. The original and still one of the biggest in terms of sheer numbers online.
Dipping their toe into each pool (ManHunt is online, an app and events around the UK), they’re basically the Paris Hilton of dating equipment. The guys on here are generally looking for a horny bastard, not a doting husband.
Hornet app
Allows you to search for guys anywhere in the world. So you can arrange a shag half-way across the world before you set off on holiday; now that’s forward thinking. Never pay for a hotel again!
Mister app
For ‘real men’ that have a softer side. As long as the part of them that’s soft isn’t in their pants, we like.
Grindr app
The popular international app is used by everybody from the virginal boy-next-door (and his hot uncle) to trashy south London sluts. Whether you’re looking for your next big love or just your next big bulge, the chances are that someone ticks (some of) the boxes you’re after on here. Just be wary of chatterboxes that fill their time Grinding away window-shopping with no intention to purchase.
If you like your man like Carrie Bradshaw’s hair – i.e. a little kink – then Recon is the app for you. You’ll find every fetish from leather and rubber to master and slave. υ
If you’re wondering what Squirt users are after, with a suggestive name it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Thankfully, because most of the users aren’t one. He’d rather bust a nut on your chest than bust his balls taking you to dinner. Profiles are completely uncensored and check out the ‘Cocktails’ section for where users share their best sexual experiences or fantasties in the form of short stories.
With a mission to make meeting others fun, Blokehunt’s dating website is connecting likeminded men and free to join. Find hot beefy blokes, muscle bears and boys, super cute guys, horny daddies, juicy rugby jocks, sexy skin heads or how about your bloke next door? For the guys you don’t find in the bars…
Welcome to the ‘Bear World Wild Woof’ where you can find the horny bears of the world growling and prowling, and once you’ve registered and logged in you’ll be allowed to chat online and see all the profile pictures. Registration is free. Plus, they keep you up to date with gay parties all around the world.
Nearox App
Nearox is the gay lifestyle app for guys in your area or in other cities, which is free to download for iPhone and Android. Man-made in Germany, Nearox is the most popular gay social app in German speaking countries where you can find unlimited men in your area, including their distance to you and their online status and position. Filter by online status, pictures, age, weight and height and send unlimited messages with text and photo.
Gay Romeo
What began as a home-made website has grown into one of the biggest communities for gay, bisexual and transgender men on the planet. Planet Romeo claim to offer you a different option because you can both meet horny hook-ups and the man of your dreams, and find what you need with their powerful search engine: free and unrestricted. Mr Right may be waiting just around the corner!
Rentboy.com does what it says on the tin and puts you in touch with thousands upon thousands of male escort profiles available throughout the world and at all different rates, catering to all different tastes – something for everyone, as long as everyone agrees on a price!
GPScort app
Trawling the web or scouring endless apps for a quick fuck can be hard work at times. If you’re not dealing with dodgy fake pics, it’s inane chatter with wankered blokes. Take matters into your own hand and dig into that wallet! GPScort works by location to find your nearest fuck for hire.
TOP FIVE FIRST DATES LETDOWNS
1) They’re seven years older than their profile photo
We all love a silver fox, but when you’ve ordered some tender veal and a dry turkey turns up, you won’t be staying for dessert.
2) They’re seventeen kilos heavier than their profile photo
… And now you’ve gotta politely watch the lying crock of lipids eat the double beef burger he just ordered.
3) He has the table manners of a starving bulldog
If he could suck your dick like that, then life would be sweet, but in a restaurant it just means he’s got spinach on his chin and pepper on his nose.
4) He won’t shut up about his manor house in the country.
He’s either bullshitting, or he just genuinely has more money than personality. Either way, he’s paying and you’re gone.
5) His breath smells like the foundations of a cemetery
… And in the cosy restaurant you chose, you keep getting a whiff of it every time he lifts his head to tell you yet another dull fact about his life.
LINES THAT MAKE YOU ‘BLOCK’
“Oh no, I don’t drink.”
So, like, what do you do then?
“Actually, I’m just vanilla in bed.”
Yawn! Bring back the tee-total guy, please.
“Go on, tell me about when you lost your virginity.”
He’s a cyber freak, possible paedo and we’re not Jackie Collins.
“Sorry, but ‘Hi’ just doesn’t work for me.”
What?!? A face like that and the bitch expects poetry?
“Are you hung?”
The question that comes from someone who’s 100% hung-ry bottom.
“Yo m8, wt u up 2?”
“I’m just reading Spelling and Grammar for Dummies – wanna borrow it after?”
ESSENTIAL RULES FOR HOOKING UP
1. Being forward is not the way forward
Just because you had this guy delivered to your door like some Sloppy Giuseppe, does not mean you can greet him in a negligee like you would the pizza man. Much less on your knees like you would the postman.
2. Having a hard time?
If you’re having problems ‘rising to the occasion’ perhaps you should just watch some daytime TV or something. Inviting us round and brandishing a foot-long dildo isn’t gonna cut it. And you can’t spell ‘importance’ without ‘impotence’. Actually you can, but most guys on Grindr can’t.
3. Silence is golden
In other words, don’t wake the fucking neighbours. Sure, it’s all fun and games when you’re screaming to the high heavens and grunting like Gemma Collins doing Tough Mudder. Less so, when you’re being issued a warning for disrupting the peace at 7am with the grunts and groans from your twelve-man orgy.
4. Watch out for the ugly/hot
The rare breed of gay man that can send you half a dozen pictures and you still can’t figure out if he’s hot or not. Let’s not put the ‘duh’ in dumb. He’s NOT. And deep down you know he’s not, too. So more fool you standing at the DLR station in the rain when he rocks up in Kappa trousers and a snaggle tooth.
5. Be prepared
Basically anything can happen. One minute you’re noshing him off, the next minute he’s slung you out before his boyfriend comes home. One minute he’s sitting on your face, the next your tied to the radiator by your balls. One minute you’re tea-bagging, the next he’s gone and so is your wallet. Be careful, play safe.