QX Guide to gay sex – Talking you though the ins and outs of getting DOWN!
Sex is great! Our society’s attitude towards it seems a bit weird at the moment though. Apparently, younger generations have the most liberal attitudes towards sex ever recorded. But they’re also having much less sex than older generations did.
Terrifyingly, experts say it’s because people are now getting their sex kicks through other outlets, like Instagram or dating apps. Also, sex is happening less, because people are taking their phones and tablets with them to bed, rather than sexual partners.
We don’t want sex to die out so we’re producing this guide to gay sex! That would be a crying shame. It’s a wonderful part of life, and an essential part of the human bonding experience. And gay men get to experience sides of it that straight men don’t. There can be a wonderful, friendly camaraderie to it. It’s also occasionally hilarious. Strong friendships can be forged through sex. We’re not saying that NEVER happens with straight sex, but it’s probably fair to say that it happens far less.
It’s important though, to have GOOD sex. Bad sex is fine as long as you can see the funny side, but constantly having bad sex would just be a bit bleak. So here it is, THE QX GUIDE TO GAY SEX. SEX, SEX, SEX! AND THEN THEY HAD SEX!
If there’s a bit of poo when you pull out
During anal sex, there will sometimes be poo. Get a wet wipe, maybe pop to the shower if you need to. And make sure HE’S ok too, because he’ll probs be embarrassed and/or want to douche. Look, it’s not great, but sometimes, (sh)IT HAPPENS. If you’re the sort of person who freaks out as soon as you see the tiniest bit of poo – grow up.
If your sexual roles don’t match
Don’t panic! If you’re both exclusively top or both exclusively bottom (or if you’re just not in the mood at that moment to match the role that he requires), it does not have to be the end of things. It just requires a bit of a change in gear and mindset. There’s plenty of other stuff you can get up to.
Douching
By all means, do it, but don’t OVER do it. It can actually be dangerous if you put too much water up there. And sometimes if you put too much it sort of stays there, then pours out halfway through the sex, which is…embarrassing. A few good spritzes will suffice.
If his profile says “Sane & Sorted”
Don’t bother meeting him, the sex will be crap.
If he’s into watersports and wants to try it
Go for it, if you want! There’s no need to be ashamed of it. It seems more and more people are into watersports these days, so you might as well give it a go. Doing it in the shower is best, just to avoid doing lots of laundry. Also though, if you DON’T feel like it, just tell him that. He’ll get over it.
If he doesn’t look anything like his picture or has lied about his appearance
You’re totally entitled to turn around and leave. People shouldn’t misrepresent themselves. It’s only one step above catfishing.
If he’s HIV positive and undetectable
As long as he’s undetectable and on effective treatment, then HIV cannot be transmitted. This has now been scientifically proven. REMEMBER: it’s much safer having sex with an HIV positive person on effective treatment, than it is having sex with someone who doesn’t know their status.
Lots of lube
Seems obvious, but a surprising amount of people go through all sorts of unnecessary pain because they’re using the wrong lube, or maybe even NONE AT ALL. Are you mad?! Use lube! Our arses have not yet evolved to produce their own lubricant. It’ll probably happen at some point, but until then we have to buy our own. Mother Nature is a homophobe, who knew?!
If he puts you down or criticizes you
Leave immediately, he doesn’t deserve your time. Unless you’re INTO being humiliated and he knows that – in which case he’s doing God’s work.
If he’s into chems
Obviously what you put into your body is totally up to you and we’re all about not shaming people for drug use (it’d be a bit rich if we did). Our advice though, if you want it, is – avoid chems. They facilitate bad decision-making, cloud your judgment and make you vulnerable. And apart from anything else, you’ll be EXHAUSTED on Monday.
If he’s trans
If a guy tells you he’s trans just prior to, or partway into a sexual encounter, it can require some mental gymnastics. But in our guide to gay sex we suggest that you have some imagination. This is 2019, there’s no reason why it has to change anything. If you’re attracted to him, you’re attracted to him. There’s no need to overthink or question what that means. If it makes you angry, perhaps you have your own issues and insecurities to address.
Stay away from FOOD
The only food that is acceptable during sex is, possibly, ice cream. Other than that, absolutely no food. It’s so unsexy! No, no, no.
Have sex on a balcony at some point
Preferably during a thunderstorm. It’s fab.
For more important stuff like this guide to gay sex …
It’s Time We Talk About Gay Sex And Consent
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