We’ve all been guilty of this at one time or another. When you’ve been stood there, for what seems like FIVE HOURS (probably around five minutes) and all you want is a nice cold gin and tonic so you can get back to chatting to that cute guy with an eyebrow piercing who’s writing a dissertion on The Sociopolitical Implications of Microaggressions Experienced In The Dollar Baby Smoking Area.
It can be easy, in a situation like that, to cast all decorum to the wind, and be a total rude bitch to whoever’s working behind the bar. WELL – remember, nine times out of ten, it’s not their fault! They’re trying their best! Working in bars in London is HARD. We’ve worked in enough (and passed out in enough) ourselves to know that. So, with the busiest time of the year just around the corner, here’s how not to be a dick to bar staff.
REMEMBER – it’s not personal
Especially if you’ve already had a few, it’s easy to get into the mindset that they’re purposefully ignoring you. They’re not! They’ve just got a million other people to serve and haven’t spotted you yet.
Just because you’ve been waiting the longest, doesn’t mean they have to serve you first
Generally, it’s bar etiquette to try and serve the person who’s been waiting the longest, but the staff don’t always manage that, and that’s not their fault. Sometimes things are so crazy that you forget, and just have to go for the first person you see.
Don’t order cocktails if it’s really busy
URGH if you do this you are the WORST. Not only does it massively complicate and slow things down for the staff, but it means all the customers behind you have to wait ten times longer for their drink. Grow up and have a lager.
DO NOT wave cash or cards in their faces
Besides being utterly dickish behaviour, this is a way of guaranteeing that you won’t be getting a drink for a loooong time. It’s possibly the most insulting/annoying thing you can do, aside from actually vomiting on the bar.
Decide what you want before they come to you, and speak clearly
For GOD’S sake, it’s not that hard. People are so crap at actually making their mind up – if more people knew what they wanted when they got to the bar, the world would turn a lot faster and Donald Trump wouldn’t have got elected (ok that last bit is a reach).
Don’t wait to the side of the bar
You’ll never get served. Wait in the middle, by the beer taps. Or if it’s a big bar with corners, wait at a corner.
Smile
A smile will get you a LONG WAY. It once got us a flight to Los Angeles. But seriously, in a sea of stress and angry faces, a nice smile can make a real difference to a hardworking bar person.
Be Nice
Sounds obvious, but most people are NOT NICE. Most people are awful. If you are nice, not only will it make the bar staff happy, but you will get a drink faster!
If you’re dating someone who’s rude to bar staff, dump them
People who are rude to bar staff, or waiters, or other workers, are just ARSEHOLES. It really says a lot about their personality as well – it means they get ego kicks from being nasty to people. Or worse, it’s their way of showing off. One thing’s for sure, it means they’re very insecure. So yeah, CHUCK ‘EM.
So there you go – follow these nine simple rules and you might just get a drink! CHEERS HUNS.
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