It was once the Lord’s day, but ever since you could sit in your boxers and binge, Sunday is now officially Netflix day. After popping open that can of pringles, or waiting on your Uber Eats order if you’re being really naughty, you want to sit back and watch utter crap that’s fitting for your hungover brain function. Our current favourite is trolling to the depths of Netflix and finding the grossest show we can get our fingertips on.
If you’ve had an evening of heavy drinking, and even heavier embarrassment, these are the shows that make you think ”gee, I’m bad but at least I ain’t THAT bad”. My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings isn’t on TV anymore, so these are here to fill the void.
World of Compulsive Hoarders (2007)
This is definitely not the one if you’re feeling queasy. This 48 minute long spectacular follows four compulsive hoarders as they go about their lives. Buried under mounds of old papers and absolute garbage, they shove their way through the detritus to microwave up some month old baked beans. Though the show is sensitive to the fact that the hoarding is a symptom of some mental health issues, it really doesn’t hesitate in giving you an inside look on exactly how gross a hoarder’s living condition truly are. Food that’s a couple of years old, insane amount of dust, and just dirt. Everywhere. We’re fascinated.
Virgin School (2007)
You may think that it’s pretty mean to call this one gross, but we promise you. It’s gross. Feeling the pressure to lose his virginity as he turns the ripe old age of 26, this guy enlists the help of a part-therapy, part-school, part-brothel establishment based in Amsterdam. You follow him as he progresses through each stage of his therapy, from the early steps of intimacy, to full blown sexy times. It’s absolutely enthralling to watch. The older therapists act as mother-figures in his sexual education which makes the whole situation that much weirder. He openly admits that he doesn’t find his final therapist (the one he goes all the way with) remotely attractive, but as part of the therapy he has to power through regardless. Our favourite part has to be one of the therapist’s guided tour of her own vagina. Genius.
Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends (2000)
We really don’t deserve Louis Theroux. He is a divine ray of sunshine on this planet, and watching him navigate these strange situations is just pure hilarity. Our favourite has to be his Porn episodes where he plays with entering the industry himself. We would totally watch some Louis Theroux porn, wouldn’t you? He goes in deep, and follows some creepy hardcore porn company that’s really not legit. Smalltalk with naked porn stars is something that we always find hilarious.
Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men (2009)
It’s a pretty simple concept. Sexy cockney Danny Dyer runs around the globe meeting some terrifying people. He spends most of the show talking to a below eye level camera in a heavy filter talking about being hard, and the rest of the time shitting a brick. There are two entire seasons of this crap and we really can’t stop watching. He’s often way out of his depth, talking to former terrorists and SAS soldiers having no idea of any real wold effects their actions have had. It can be seen as glamourising violence and corrupt behaviour, but we really couldn’t care less when it’s 3pm and we’re half way through a kebab.
Killer Kids (2011)
This is quite a dark one, but the re-enactments are EVERYTHING. So overly dramatic, which is saying something for homicidal children. We all had those moments of uncontrollable rage in your early years, and it’s interesting to see what would have happened if we followed through with acting on any of it. It’s the most American show you’re ever going to see, speaking to neighbours and lawyers who have that yank sense of knowing all of your business. Reasons for killing parents seem to be pretty uniform though, horror movies, mental imbalance and, of course, smoking the occasional joint.
3 Wives One Husband (2018)
One word to sum this show up would have to be…scary. It’s terrifying to think that these women think so low of themselves that they have to share a man. Don’t get us wrong, we’re into the whole polyamory thing, us gays have made it commonplace. What we aren’t into is this patriarchal boooolshit, where the man is free to court himself a fourth wife, but the women are left at home to look after the kids. They live in DIY houses in the middle of nowhere on a hyper-christian commune where they’re all into polygamy. As is to be expected, the zest of this show comes from the inevitable jealousy. The first wives are always PISSED. We get it. Imagine marrying a guy, who then turns around and says “hey, honey. I think I wan’t to get myself another wife.”. The subsequent wives know they’re heading into a plural marriage, but the poor first wife really didn’t. Our fave storyline has to be when the wives have to negotiate whether they’re okay with their sisters-in-law marrying their husband.
My Sex Robot (2010)
Again our heart goes out to the long suffering wives. Girls, why do you put up with this crap? Sandra, the inventor’s wife, must have to spend countless nights wandering what him and his creation were getting up to in the basement. This show follows the toiling of two inventors as they try to create the world’s first sex robot. Is getting laid that hard for these straight guys? Do you really have to build a woman for her to sleep with you? Of course there’s the whole objectification of women, and the issue of consent when it comes to robots, but we just enjoy how scary these damn robots look. Absolutely terrifying. Roxi ends up looking quite unsettling, and watching her sit there as the two men examine her silicone vagina is very disturbing. Yikes.
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