We speak to Simon Atkins!
Finding a way to balance faith and sexuality can be a near-impossible task for many people. This was the case for Simon Atkins, an Irish TV presenter, who has made a documentary on his struggle to reconcile the two.
After growing up as a Roman Catholic, he grew tired of his church after accepting he would never be able to get married in the eyes of God. However, his interest in faith was rekindled after meeting his Jewish boyfriend Matthew and learning that if he too was to convert to Judaism, they would be able to get married in his synagogue. The documentary follows Simon as he meets with religious figures to establish if his homosexuality would sit easier with a Jewish faith and whether he personally could even make the massive leap of faith by converting.
We spoke with Simon ahead of the premiere of this timely programme.
Hi Simon! Is this your first documentary?
This is my documentary debut, but I’ve been presenting for years. I normally work on entertainment shows, but I love watching documentaries, especially BBC3 with Stacey Dooley and Reggie Yates. It was such a learning curve and a very interesting experience.
Is it the most personal thing you’ve done on TV?
It’s very, very personal! It was quite intrusive in a lot of ways, as not only did I have to delve into my life, but it also forced Matthew to open up about his community, faith and culture. I massively appreciate that he let me do it, as he could have easily turned round and said ‘absolutely not!’ But he was very supportive.
Did you ever feel uncomfortable in the process of making it?
I was a little uncomfortable when I was pitching it in the first place, as I’m normally interviewing people and asking them the questions. For this, it was completely the opposite. But it was unbelievably cathartic. I feel like I’ve resolved a lot of issues with my faith and feel a lot happier now for going on this journey. I’ve really learnt what it means to be Jewish and the similarities and differences with my own Catholicism.
When did you become disillusioned with Catholicism?
I grew up in a small town called Castlebar in the West of Ireland and went to both a Catholic primary school and secondary school. I was an altar boy, I sang in a choir, I went to mass every Sunday. I was very involved in the Church and it wasn’t until I moved out of Ireland for University that I realised just how involved I was. I didn’t come out until after University, although I didn’t struggle massively with it. It wasn’t until I met Matthew in London and learnt about Judaism, and the fact that gays can get married in a synagogue and be preached to by gay rabbis. After learning this, I felt robbed for the amount of years I had put into the Catholic Church and still unable to walk hand-in-hand down the aisle of a church with my prospective partner and get married in the eyes of God. I was really angry! I’m not anymore, mainly due to this journey I’ve been on, which, as I said before, was just very cathartic.
Did you stop practising?
Well, I still believe in God and I still pray, but I just started thinking why am I even Catholic if I can’t have sex with my boyfriend or I can’t get married in the eyes of God. Who were they to tell me that? Whereas in Judaism, it seemed more progressive, as there are a lot of different views between different sects of Judaism. Different rabbis can interpret the Torah as they want, as opposed to Cathcolism, where it comes through one central figure, Pope Francis, who last year reaffirmed his stance that gay sex is still sinful.
Are all the sects more progressive than Catholicism?
Many of them are more relaxed, but at the other end of the scale, there’s ultra-orthodox Jews who are still very traditional. Matthew is a Masorti Jew, so in his synagogue, I could convert and get married to him. The real stickler for me would be circumcision.
So if you converted, you’d have to be circumcised?
Yes, it’s quite a contentious point for me, just because you’re messing with your manhood really! Just the thought of getting the snip is pretty scary, especially at this stage of my life.
Which Jewish figures did you meet for the documentary?
I started off by meeting Jeremy Gordon in London, who is Matthew’s Rabbi, who was very liberal and engaging. We then went over to Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, which have wildly differing outlooks. Tel Aviv is a gay mecca, but it is a bit of a bubble within Israel. You go 30 miles down the road to Jerusalem and it’s a completely different story. I met an ultra-orthodox rabbi on the west bank, who took the scriptures of the Torah as divine and absolute.
That sounds quite like Catholicism.
It did start to remind me of the unbending rules in Catholicism. He said to me that I couldn’t be Jewish or get married because I’m gay, plus that I’m not even a real Catholic! We also went to Mea Shearim, one of the most religious neighbourhoods in Jerusalem, where we confronted by some very hostile views from community leaders and people on the street. One of the most surprising things was that is was coming from young men and women, some in their teens, who would say being gay was either an abomination or just attention-seeking.
It’s odd that it came from young people. We’re very used to the idea of younger people being more tolerant.
That was one of things that really shocked me. I was also really surprised at the hostility of some of the views coming from religious people, who are supposed to be do-gooders. One of the community leaders compared gays to animals and said we should be locked in a zoo!
Do you think there are a lot of people like you who are forced to make a choice between your church and your sexuality?
One of the main reasons I wanted to make this documentary, aside from personal reasons, is that I wanted to create an awareness that a lot of young men and women are suffering to accept their sexual orientation, who are afraid that they’ll be shunned by their church or excommunicated from their families. I hope that this will help people realise you can be gay and have faith. Some religious people might think it’s nonsense, but from my perspective, you absolutely can.
Do you think churches will come to accept the LGBT community more in the future?
I would love it if the Catholic Church were to turn round and become more progressive. They’re losing priests. No-one wants to be a priest anymore! Fewer people are going to church and a lot of it has to do with these traditional views. But I don’t think they will ever change their stance on homosexuality. There’s never a neat solution with religion. At times you feel included, other times completely excluded. It’s too black and white, and I can’t live my life like that.
Was it just a coincidence that your boyfriend is also religious, or do you think that’s that something you look for in a man?
Matthew isn’t massively religious and he’s never asked me to convert. He’s not a massive fan of organised religion, but he loves the culture. What first attracted me to him was that our outlook on life and backgrounds were very similar. There’s a lot of similarities between Catholicism and Judaism, things like family values, traditions, and celebrations throughout the year. And looking at it now, I think it must be important for me that he has faith, even though I’ve never really analysed it.
My Big Gay Jewish Conversion, available now on BBC Three bbc.co.uk/bbcthree
The post Meet the gay Roman Catholic TV presenter who converted to Judaism appeared first on QX Magazine.