Me & My Girls – Selena Gomez
Ok so technically this came out quite a while ago. BUT, it’s an unreleased album track, so you might not have heard of it yet! Also it’s by Selena Gomez, who no-one really cares about. Do they? Maybe I’m wrong. I for one have never cared about her. At first I thought she was Vanessa Hudgens, and then for a while I thought she was a cartoon character. But I certainly know who she is now, because of this ABSOLUTE SOLID GOLD BANGER OF A SONG. ME AND MA GURLS! ME AND MA GURLS! *Strips down to denim shorts, leaps onto motorbike behind Idris Elba, speeds off down Pall Mall*. It’s that amazing kind of rocky, gritty pop that was around a few years ago, but we have far less of it these days. It’s such a welcome respite from yer Jess Glynnes and yer Ella Eyres and yer Ellie Gouldings. I’ve decided Ellie Goulding wins Ultimate Basic Bitch Award 2015. She once poured a pint over my friend Holly in the Camden Head. But that’s another story for another time.
Hello Bitches – CL
If you haven’t heard of CL, you’re way less cool than me and I probably wouldn’t sleep with you if I met you in Dalston Superstore. In fact you probably wouldn’t be in Dalston Superstore in the first place, lol. ANYWAY, she’s from K-Pop mega fierce girl group 2NE1, famous for hits like the super cute and totes modest “I Am The Best”. Anyway, now she’s struck out on her own, Nadine-style, with “Hello Bitches”. I mean you can tell just from the name that it’s an amazing song. One of the lyrics is “shopping spree in Tokyo, then wake up in my private jet.” I feel like her and Fergie would get on. Also the beat is FUCKIN’ AMAZIN’. Like Brooke Candy/Missy Elliott/MIA. Give it a listen bitches.
Hi – Hannah Diamond
So there’s this music genre called PC Music! It exists, because I went to a PC Music night at XOYO! It’s all about plinky happy techno-type synths, and sped-up chipmunky vocals. Which sounds like it’d be awful, but it’s actually lovely. The crowd at XOYO were all dressed in like pink and white, kawaii-style. Fur coats, big disco boots, sparkly eye makeup. Yay! After doing my research, my fave PC music artist is Hannah Diamond. Chema Diaz dubs her “the Britney Spears of PC Music”. Her song “Hi” is a melancholy ode to the solitude of social media. How zeitgeisty!