Christmas is very camp. In fact, it’s so camp that “camp as Christmas” is actually a phrase! So we’ve decided to compile a list. Now, no doubt you’ll have a couple of your own that you’d have put in and we haven’t, but you’re not the ones writing it are you! If you’d like to write something, please do send an application to editorial@qxmagazine.com.
These are the campest Christmas moments according to US. Yes! And if that means including Tara Palmer-Tomkinson being off her face at Winter Wonderland, and leaving out, oh, maybe an iconic Corrie Christmas special then SO BE IT. If you don’t like it, go read a TV guide! Tara all the way!
Either way we’ve done our best to include some memorable ones. So crack open the Baileys, and COME DOWN OUR CHIMNEY. In no particular order, it’s our Campest Christmas Moments Ever!
Sarah Harding being banned from drinking at the Girls Aloud Christmas reunion
If you’ve been reading QX over the last few months, you’ll know we LOVE anything to do with Sarah Harding being drunk. Here’s another one! Cheryl reportedly banned Sarah from drinking at the band’s Christmas bash in 2011, saying “we just don’t want a repeat of last year…”
The Ab-Fab Christmas Special
OMG, just everything in this episode. Patsy HEADBUTTING Eddie when she said they weren’t going away for Christmas is probably one of the most iconic Absolutely Fabulous moments ever. Then there’s Gran telling the story about Granddad putting his false teeth in the turkey (“It’s Princess Anne!”). Patsy getting dragged in along with the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree being imported from Scandinavia. Just everything. Also; “Is he from Gabon?”
Gay Bingo Christmas Special
London’s holy gay bingo trinity, Jonny Woo, John Sizzle and Ma Butcher performed their trademark insane gay bingo show in a circus tent last year in Victoria Park. It included, among other things, John Sizzle in a cape standing in front of a snow machine, Jonny Woo dressed as Santa performing a song called “Big Daddy Top” and Ma Butcher falling over multiple times in heels dressed as the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz. It’s impossible to capture the ambience really but it was fucking insane and fucking amazing. You had to be there.
Last Year’s Christmas Issue of QX!
Look at it! Amazing! He’s hot. He’s got pants. He’s got a tree. He’s got a sleigh. He’s got baubles. There’s green and red. What more do you want?! WE KNOW HOW TO DO CHRISTMAS.
Billy Piper Getting Attacked By A Christmas Tree
Scream! As if this actually happened on a prime time BBC1 show watched by millions of people! Yes! Billie Piper, in a council flat, wearing a cropped purple leather jacket, getting attacked by a deadly spinning Christmas tree. It was in Doctor Who, back when it was Billie Piper and David Tennant, written by amazing Russell T Davies. Back when it was camp and silly and didn’t take itself too seriously. Back when it wasn’t shit. Actually the first few seasons of Doctor Who had PLENTY of camp Christmas moments. Possibly the most memorable was Kylie crashing the Titanic into Buckingham Palace on Christmas Day. Or Catherine Tate in a wedding dress fighting a giant alien spider. But we are NOT one of those magazines that go on about Doctor Who incessantly, so we’ll shut up now *examines nails*
Sophie Ellix-Bextor performing at the Sink The Pink Winter Ball
Last year Sophie performed at The Troxy with a bunch of drag queens. We were there, and it was amazing. She did Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer, just as everyone was coming up on a pill. And when we say “coming up on a pill”, we obviously mean, coming up the stairs, just after going taking a paracetemol, because we had a headache. THEN, she did Murder on the Dancefloor, and yelled into the microphone “COME ON SINK THE PINK, SHIMMY WITH ME!” and everyone was like “Erm, shimmy? What? Lol?!” Amaze. Aaaw. We love you Soph!
Tara Palmer-Tomkinson off her face at Winter Wonderland
Hahaha we love Tara. We will ALWAYS love Tara. And of course she could be counted on for festive mischief! She went to the Winter Wonderland VIP Opening last year in a state of, shall we say, merriment. In between blowing raspberries and sticking both middle fingers up at the paparazzi, she gave on of the most bizarre and hilarious interviews anyone’s ever done: “Christmas is a time for forgiving everyone who stole your make-up that year or stole your outfit or stole your high heels,” she said. “My birthday falls on the day before Christmas, the 23rd, so my brother gives me WHSMITH 2 in 1 tape cassettes.” Oh babes.
Christine Baranski with a Christmas light gun
Quick! Look! It’s Christine Baranski…AND SHE’S GOT A CHRISTMAS LIGHT GUN! Remember Martha May Whovier in The Grinch movie, using a big camp sort of machine gun thing to spatter the eves of her house with Christmas lights? Well that was Christine Baranski! IKR?! Amazing.
When Paris Hilton threw a Christmas party at her mansion and forgot to invite anyone
Ha! SO, back in 2011, Paris Hilton arranged a festive shindig at her £3.7 million Hollywood Hills mansion, got loads of canapés, washed her dogs, washed her hair, BOUGHT A NEW RED CAR, hired DJ’s, hired an army of photographers and then FORGOT TO INVITE ANYONE. We imagine she had a good time anyway. She doesn’t care. She probably didn’t even realise nobody came. She was probably chatting away happily to Lindsay Lohan. Meanwhile Lindsay Lohan’s comatose under a trestle table in Brazil. Here she is at the event, stood in her own fireplace. Alone.
The Jingle Bell Rock performance in Mean Girls
OBVIOUSLY this had to go in. From Regina’s mum gyrating in the aisle to Gretchen kicking the CD player into the crowd, it’s a gay Christmas staple!
Lady Gaga and Ru Paul performing David Bowie’s Fashion on The Muppets
Yes, this happened last year. How ridiculous. Both stumbling about on stage in insanely high heels, warbling their way through a strange rendition of Bowie’s iconic hit. RuPaul looked fucking amazing though, as always. Lady Gaga on the other hand, looked a bit like a shitty condom.
Carly Rae Jepsen covering Last Christmas by Wham!
As if it wasn’t already gay enough, this year bubblegum pop SUPERSTAR and Call Me Maybe chanteuse Carly Rae Jepsen has taken it upon herself to cover gay Christmas anthem Last Christmas. The best part is…it’s a bit, erm, insane?! She’s stuffed it full of saxaphone and synth. It’s an epileptic Christmas comedown! Not that we’d know anything about THOSE.