You’re late, you’re late! For a very important date!
Okay, that’s a lie; you’re about a week early. But it is a very important date, so put it in your damn diary and keep an eye on that pocketwatch.
Beyond is turning thirteen. We’re not going to make any crap jokes about “unlucky for some” or whatever because quite frankly, there ain’t nothing unlucky about this fiesta, whatsoever.
They’re inviting you to follow the white rabbit over to the Coronet Theatre on Saturday October 3rd, where the Beyond team will transport you to the biggest event they’ve ever created.
Tumble down the rabbit hole into three rooms of music in a fairytale world of wonders for your clubbing pleasure. Alice would be like “Shit, man, this is HEAVY” while the Cheshire cat pops his pussy enthusiastically at her.
All-Star Beyond residents, Steve Pitron, Zach Burns, Fat Tony, Tony English and Michel Mizrahi will be painting your roses red in the main room, while the Queen(s) of Hearts, Maze & Masters, introduce you to their Heir! The forward thinking music policy will be sure to get things going in the right direction.
They’ll be joined by March Hare Matt Bogard and Mad Hatter SummerDaze, and Coco Cole, who sounds like a fantastical character already. You’ll be tripping harder than that rude opium huffing caterpillar at a tea party. Who am I? Who the fuck are YOU, mate?
Of course, you couldn’t have a trip to wonderland without encountering some otherworldly beauties. They’ll be on hand in the form of hosts JJ Clark, Martin Princess & Alfonso Cinque.
So there you go, better brace yourself for a psychedelic streak through a world BEYOND your imagination.
And steer clear of anything marked EAT ME. At least until you get home, okay?
• Beyond Wonderland is on Saturday 3rd October at the Coronet Theatre (28 New Kent Road, SE1 6TJ), 11pm – 7am. Advance tickets available at www.orangenation.co.uk